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Gavin L: Why did he do it? That’s what everybody keeps asking. I mean, yeah, we all hate working here, but if you hate it that bad, dude – get another job. Shit, go on the dole. Don’t jump off the fucking roof!

Kevin P: I don’t hate working here.

Elaine S: Ian always had such sad eyes. Like those things they hang over shop fronts – what’re they called? And they get all filled up with water when it rains, so the shopkeeper has to go out with a pole or a brush and prod all the water off. Awnings – are they awnings? I should know, I’m just having a blockage. Under his eyes, anyway - it was like he had awnings under his eyes.

Daniel J: Ruff-Ian, we used to call him – ‘cos he had such a rough deal, y’know? Honestly, we all think we get the dipped-in-doodoo end of the stick every now and then, specially working here – but this guy? I could have cried.

Gavin L: If Ian won the lottery, he’d be mown down on his way to collect the winnings. Him and Billy, they couldn’t be less alike in that regard. Billy would’ve won without even buying the ticket.

Daniel J: Roof-Ian. That’s what we should call him now. Heh… sorry, is that bad taste? Honestly, I’m only joking to hide my serious pain.

Gavin L: No, but people are making him out to be a lot more complex than he actually was. This was a very straightforward bloke, all right? His password was ‘password’, for fuck’s sake.

Lucy M: Frankly, I don’t know if I can take it anymore. First Billy, now Ian… I swear to god, if anyone else jumps off this building, I’m leaving. It’s just not a nice place to work when you can’t look out the window for fear of seeing one of your colleagues go hurtling past.

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